Observe.

He’ll be turning one in a matter of weeks. How on earth has that happened?

The dog is calming down, in himself I mean. Autumn is coming to an end. I want to sit by the river and write what I see. Close my eyes and start over. I’ll be home alone, Thursday, Friday, Saturday night. Thursday I’ll play records. Friday I’ll be at an artists opening exhibition and Saturday I am promoting a night of live music in town. Try not to drink, wrap up warm and engage.

Rethinking what friendship can be. I thought that success in friendship was to have a group. A group that sustains and weathers the years. From school, through college, through moves and change. Re-grouping throughout each year, solid, unchanged. But I’m finding now that I look at these faces and see people I would never match with in conversation today if we met at a party. Different people, at different places, and good, let it be so. The awkward process of accepting change.

Must acknowledge the change in myself as much as noticing it in others. Be kind to them as I am to myself and most of all don’t indulge in jealousy as they too move on. Check in from time to time. Embrace the change in nature.

I like the idea of not quite being known. Not least because it’s true. How could others, if I don’t myself. To pretend that others do is to enter in to some kind of pantomime.

My laptop hums when it’s tired.

Reading Othello.