Saw & Seen

Walking the track that leads out of the village, slow, insular and happy enough. I was struck, momentarily, by the beauty of it all. The storm came and went and left us what we hadn’t seen before. The dappling sunlight, making little miracles out of beech leaves. And the greens, so many different greens. I breathed it in, until of course I didn’t, distracted by myself. But for that moment, well, I was there, I saw it all.

We end our walks by sitting on a bench at the edge of the village green, me and the dog. I’ve got it to where he’s happy up there for close to ten minutes. We watch the poplar trees, I think about where I’m at and where I’ve been.

The slightly odd neighbour left his house and threw a wave my way, I like him. I was happy we’d been seen.

I Wanted Rain.

Drove back from the coast. Not before one last walk on the beach. Wind turbines out at sea, stood in silent rows, stoic observers. Do you see me? Round the corner we found the Seals, we stood, me and the dog, watching them. They certainly didn’t seem stoic, nor observing, if anything they seemed indifferent, unbothered, unfazed, it’s one way to be.

Old WWII bunkers, sinking into the dunes. Somebody told me the adders are out this time of year, but that’s more in land, right? Stop to watch it all. I’ll be leaving with one hour left on my parking ticket, can pass it on. Get back to the house, pack the car, get going.

I wanted rain. I wanted to drive in rain.

Often if i’m scared of something going on in my life, Voldemort will be in my dream, a physical manifestation of whatever abstract it may be that’s troubling me. And often if I dream of love, it will be represented by the first girl I ever loved, in my late teens. These two figures branded into my subconscious like cigarette burns on the back of a hand.

Good Luck, Play Well.

Driving down the coastal road. I ended up passing through a seaside amusement town, arcades, promenade, school trips and statics. An older couple sat in rain macs looking out over the North Sea. I turned the heating up in my car just a notch. I thought about old friends.

9 holes, 3 balls, 1 glove, 1 green sharpie; £39.48. “Good luck, play well.” The wind was up, the course was quiet. Swallows were flying, darting, free-falling, from here to there, at work, at play, at times a little too close. I said hello to the chap ahead of me as we passed between the 4th and 5th. I pissed in a cluster of trees. At the 8th I ate a tangerine.

To Begin, Begin…

We walked along the boardwalk, me and the dog.

The boardwalk, although only recently completed already feels familiar and comforting. It’s composite boards reaching out in front of us, cutting a course through the reeds and the sea rush. There was a calm in the world, a calm in myself. I could have walked that boardwalk for hours.

I felt connected to the past, not my own as such, an idyllic, fictional past. I was grateful for my four legged friend, I’d not have left the house yet if it wasn’t for him, I gave him a little dog treat from my pocket to say thank you.